“I never thought I would need help like this.”
For Ciara and Norma, visiting a food distribution marked a difficult step toward rebuilding their lives.
Both women were receiving food assistance for the first time after losing their partners in separate fires — tragedies that upended their lives and left them facing grief alongside new, immediate challenges, including covering basic expenses and securing enough food.
When they showed up at a local church last November, they both admitted that asking for help was not easy for a multitude of reasons. Before their losses, neither Ciara nor Norma had ever sought food assistance.
Norma had volunteered with her husband at the Food Bank’s Miramar warehouse years ago. “He used to drive the forklift while I packed the food bags and boxes,” Norma recalls.
However, Norma never imagined a moment when putting food on the table would feel uncertain.
“I’ve volunteered, but I’ve never really been on the other side — it’s totally different,” Norma says. “I can help somebody else, like we did at the Food Bank, but for me to come and ask for help, that was really hard, so we decided to come together.”
The local church is just one of the Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank’s more than 450 community partners, which distribute food monthly directly to their local community. It was somewhere familiar to the women — a pastor did Norma’s husband’s funeral, while Ciara and her boyfriend had attended the church — somewhere they both felt safe.
“I’ve been struggling this year with anger and depression and homelessness and everything,” Ciara says. “This is the first time I’ve asked for help or even just put on clothes and come outside.”
Ciara and Norma met through a support group. Their bond was forged quickly, shaped by profound loss.
The women presently live together, supporting one another through their grief. When they showed up at the distribution, they’d been running out of food.
“We’re like, ‘What are we going to do? How are we going to eat?’ I don’t know why we didn’t think of the Food Bank,” Ciara says. “We said we were going to challenge ourselves to do one thing this month outside of our comfort zones because our story is not over. So I’m just grateful.”
Ciara loves to cook, and it’s one of the only things that gets her out of bed, so she was brought to tears when she saw the distribution included eggs — something that’s been out of her budget for some time now.
“Right now, it’s literally a luxury,” Ciara says. “It’s overwhelming.”
“Even putting gas in our car is hard,” Norma adds, explaining that she helps care for her mother, who is in her 90s and lives in El Centro. “That’s why I’m limited on where I go otherwise.”
Both women said they were grateful to have made it to the distribution, where they were not only able to receive food but also connect with volunteers who guided them through the process, allowing them to focus on meeting an immediate need without feeling rushed or judged.
“This is giving us hope,” Ciara says. “This is something that took a weight off our shoulders.”
“Anything is appreciated. It’s beyond appreciated,” Norma adds.
Ciara and Norma’s experiences reflect a reality seen across San Diego County: food insecurity often follows sudden and unexpected loss. People who have never needed assistance before can find themselves in need almost overnight, especially after the death of a loved one.
Through partnerships with organizations like the San Diego Food Bank, community distributions help ensure that individuals navigating grief and hardship have access to nutritious food when circumstances change.
For Ciara and Norma, that support offered relief during a moment when stability felt fragile — and a reminder that they were not alone.